You should try it sometime.ДЄce: Do not pass go! Do not collect $200!ДЄce: ItвЂ™s lovely, but I fancy myself in autumn!ДЄce: Well, everything here seems good! Big load off my mind, aw God. Ventura, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the fruits of nature. Pompous woman: Another ACTIVIST, McGuire.ДЄce: activist, yes, mhmhmhmhmhmhmhmhm! The Monopoly Guy: Who is this ghastly man?ДЄce: Ace Ventura, Pet Detective.

Vincent Cadby: Very impressiveвЂ¦ might I ask, how?ДЄce: SurelyвЂ¦ The abrasion on the palm of your left hand is the type one sustains breaking a fall of 3 to 5 feet the small reminisce of plaster on the tip of your shoe pointed to a careless mason beam the culprit: your new watch, a quality forgery of a Cartier was most likely purchased through the north African black market known to reside in Gotan.ДЄce: Yes, a workaholic the urine stain on your pants would signify that youвЂ™re a single shake man, far too busy for the follow-up jiggle.ДЄce: Just what sort of bat are we talking about?ДЇulton Greenwall: The Great White Bat, of course.ДЇulton Greenwall: Yes, but to the nativesвЂ¦ Shikaka.ДЄce: YouвЂ™re outta there! Go on, I gotcha, youвЂ™re out.ДЄce: ThatвЂ™s a lovely wrap youвЂ™re wearing! Perhaps I could buy you some fluffy new slippers, made from the heads of innocent and defenseless baby seals! You recently returned from a short trip to Gotan in northern Africa, and upon your return you more than likely took a nasty spill because of someвЂ¦ shotty masonry work. In this case the killer saw the size of the bugвЂ™s DICK, and became insanely jealous.ДЄce Ventura: Then IвЂ™d lose 30 poundsвЂ¦ porkinвЂ™ his wife!Д¬heck out some of the best Ace Ventura When Nature Calls Quotes below.ДЄce: YouвЂ™re an extreme workaholic. Now how ya gonna solve that one?ДЄce Ventura: Good question, Aguado. Ventura: Pekingese, hyperactive, lost in Highland Park area. Podactor: Nice to meet you, you were highly recommended by Martha Metz.ДЄce Ventura: Martha Metz? Oh, yeah, the bitch. Melissa Robinson: Roger Podactor, meet Ace Ventura. How is everyone feeling tonight?Д¬amp: Very, very well, thank you. In fact, if one were so inclined, one could make quite a lucrative law practice with little else. I was just telling Melissa that one of the first things we learned back at Stanford Law was the modern proliferation of food poisoning claims against wealthy private homeowners. Camp, and congratulations on all your success. HeвЂ™s a lawyer.Д¬amp: Well, does he have a name, or should I call him вЂњlawyerвЂќ? Melissa Robinson: No, this isвЂ“this is my date. Melissa: Did you have any trouble getting in?ДЄce Ventura: No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle. Shickadance: Ventura.ДЄce Ventura: Ohh, I thought you were someone else. Hey, maybe IвЂ™ll give you a call sometime. How would you like me to make your life a living hell?ДЄce Ventura: Well, IвЂ™m not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. If he had held the ball, laces out, like he was supposed to, Ray would never have missed that kick. Finkle: It was all that Dan MarinoвЂ™s fault, everyone knows that. Assholes are closer than they appear.Д«elow are our favorite Ace Ventura Pet Detective Quotes that will make you laugh.ДЄce Ventura: If IвЂ™m not back in five minutesвЂ¦ just wait longer.

Lois Einhorn: What would you know about pressure?ДЄce Ventura: Well, I have kissed a man. This page contains really funny quotes from both movies.

Check out the most awesome, funniest Ace Ventura Quotes you will find.

Ace ventura pet detective quotes